Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Things You Shouldn't Do on a First Date

I think many of us have experienced going out on a first date and you get home and think it went great. The whole time you were thinking, "wow, am I charming! And I look great. Who could help but fall madly in love with me on the first date?" But then, for some reason, the first date ends up being the only date. Here are some behaviors to avoid on the first date to ensure that it's not the only date: 

1. Don't get so caught up telling about yourself that you forget to BE yourself. 
Ultimately, it's your personality that will win you a second date, not your list of accomplishments. Your date will not care how many weightlifting competitions or how successful your YouTube career is or how many Facebook friends you have if they think you don't have a personality. Instead of using the first date as a venue for bragging about yourself, just focus on being yourself! If you don't tell about all your feats, it will give you an element of mystery and will make you more surprising and intriguing when they come up on later dates. 

2. Don't bring up your problems. 
Don't bring up the fact that you're a kleptomaniac or that you have a tendency to fart as you're falling asleep on the first date. Bringing up any of your problems, whether big or small, will definitely not win you a second date. Of course, your date will not think you are perfect, but they don't need to know about the infection on your big toe. Not yet.  

3. Don't be too hard-to-get. 
Many people think a solid way to win people over is by being hard-to-get. Wrong! Sure, you have to be a small about of hard-to-get, but that percentage is small. Just be normal. If you are too hard-to-get, your date will be just be intimidated, not intrigued. 

4. Don't be too easy-to-get. 
If you just throw yourself at your date, they will not fall madly in love with you right away. You will just be taken advantage of and/or your date will just lose interest since they do not have to chase you. 

5. Don't bring up your long-term relationship plans. 
Don't bring up the fact that you want to be married in the next 6 months to a year (or, if you're Mormon, in the next 2 weeks to 4 months). This will only scare off your date. They don't want to make that kind of commitment right off the bat. It's okay to say that you're not looking for something serious, or that you are. But don't say more than that.  

6. Don't try to be something you're not. 
If you are a shy introvert, don't try to act like you are the most popular person in the world. You won't seem more appealing. Your date will see right through it. Or, if by the slim chance they don't, you will be under so much stress of trying to be somebody else that you won't seem as awesome as the real you. Be confident enough to be yourself. 

7. Don't talk about your ex's (or lack of). 
Nobody wants to hear about your former love life. Talking about it will only make other people feel threatened, and chances are they won't come back for a second date. They also don't want to hear about how you've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, innocence is cool, but you don't want to seem like a child. 

8. Don't talk about the other people who are interested in you. 
You don't want to let your date know that they are your third date that week. This will not make you seem more appealing or make your date jealous. They will actually lose interest in you because they figure you have more options, so why bother? It will also make them feel bad for spending their time and/or money on you. 

9. Don't focus all the attention on yourself. 
Everybody loves to talk about themselves. That's why, instead of talking about yourself the whole date, you ask questions about your date. Because you are giving them the chance to talk about themselves, they will like you much more. 

10. Don't forget to have fun!
The bottom line is this: on a first date, you aren't trying to convince somebody that they are your soul mate. You are just trying to peak their interest. So have fun with it! Relax, and just be yourself. 

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