Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Reasons You're Still Single

I have lots of friends who are single and can't figure out why they are. So, if you're despairing because you're single, never fear. I have the answers to why I think you are. I'm not trying to be offensive or harsh. These are just my observations.

1. You aren't ready to find "the one."
Before you find your perfect somebody, you've got to be the person that a perfect somebody would like. But maybe you already have lots of good qualities. In that case, there are some essential lessons you need to learn before you meet that special someone. Maybe the lesson you need to learn is just to be happy being single. Happiness should not depend on any other person. If you are single, and you hate it, something is wrong. And that something is your attitude. It may be the case that you will be single- heaven forbid- for the rest of your life. Obviously this isn't the statistically probably scenario, but there is a chance. So if you are going to be single forever, make the best of it! Be happy!

2. "The one" isn't ready for you.
There may be essential lessons that your special somebody hasn't learned yet. They need time to develop and grow before they are positioned in your life. Be patient! Wouldn't you want your future spouse to really be Prince Charming instead of Prince Immature or Prince Non-Committal or Prince EmotionallyDamaged or Prince FailureToLaunce or Prince StillNeedsToGrowUp? Relax. The person you are meant to be with will come into your life at the right time.

3. You are trying to hard.
Sorry, this one is kind of harsh. But I know lots of people who are so desperately single that finding people to date is like a full-time job for them. They just want it too bad. Chill out! From my experience, you will find "the one" when you aren't looking for them. Take a step back. Enjoy being single. Know that when you are meant to find the right person, you will. Don't try to force it to happen.

4. You aren't trying hard enough.
This is the opposite of being too desperate, of course. Hint: you cannot be experiencing this scenario if you are experiencing #3. If you want to find your soul mate, get out there and look! Don't be afraid to ask people on dates! Be a Yes Man! Agree to all [good, wholesome, etc.] activites. By saying yes to every opportunity that presents itself (dates, group activities, church events, school events, etc.), you will be more likely to meet new people that you could date. Maybe it's the case that you'd rather hang out with your bros or your girlfriends. While this is very healthy behavior, it shouldn't stop you from dating. Get out there and have some fun!

5. Your expectations are unrealistic.
Sure, it's good to be picky with who you date. But not too picky. Here's a shocker: there is no such thing as the perfect person. There is nobody who is perfect in every way. There are people that may seem close to perfection, but nobody can actually achieve it! You aren't selecting a perfect person to marry; you are selecting a set of problems that you can deal with. Find somebody who is great and that you click with, but don't get rid of somebody because they are not perfect in every way.

Final words of advice: don't worry. Be happy. It is a blessing to be single. You get to have time to develop yourself. You can be free and independent. Just because you are single right now, it doesn't mean that you're not awesome. Some day, "the one" will realize how awesome you are. Be patient. When the right person is meant to cross your path, they will.

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